No, I'm definitely not buying a motorcycle

I'd like to make a general announcement, directed nowhere in particular, that I am categorically ruling out buying a motorcycle.

Every now and again, the thought enters my head that it might be a fun thing to do. I pretty much like anything with wheels and an engine, and it does look like a lot of fun. But it's just too bloody dangerous. Pick up a motorcycle magazine and there's a tribute to someone who died while riding. Look at the death and injury statistics and motorcyclists are massively overrepresented compared to car drivers. Talk to people who ride, or used to, and they'll tell you about the crash that they had that landed them in hospital getting gravel picked out of their flesh, or with various broken bones, or on painkillers for the rest of their lives.

With all due respect to those who ride - because I love your machines and I think what you do it great - it's just too dangerous to be seriously considered. Just this week I read the news that a regular poster on one of the car forums I frequent was killed last weekend riding his bike out in the country - exactly what I would do if I owned one. He was a year younger than I am, and he'd been riding for about six months or so. Most riders who've been riding for longer than that will have learned from their mistakes and no doubt generally be quite safe out there on the roads, and are probably more at risk from inattentive car drivers than they are from their own actions. But the mistake that gives you something to learn from could be the one that kills or seriously injures you in the first place.

If, in a car, I take a corner too quickly and the car is thrown off line by a mid-corner bump that I hadn't anticipated, I may well end up going off the road sideways or backwards. I could well end up in a ditch, in a paddock, maybe even in a tree. But my chances of survival are excellent unless I hit something very large at high speed, in the manner that killed Peter Brock. I'm surrounded by lots of thick steel and I have a variety of airbags that will spring into action. I may even hit nothing at all and just come away feeling a bit stupid, but able to drive the car back onto the road and keep going.

Imagine the same loss of control happening on a bike - I would almost certainly fall off. Then I'd be sliding across the road, largely out of control, and no matter what I hit, it would hurt. There would be nothing beyond a helmet to cushion any sort of impact. And, of course, the bike would definitely be damaged in some way, simply because it too was sliding off into the scenery somewhere and being thrashed across the ground on the way. The damage would be far, far worse than it might have been in a car.

No. Much as the writings of keen motorcyclists such as Top Gear's James May and other journalists make it all sound very appealing, for me, the risk vs benefit tradeoff has far too much weight on the risk end. I'll stick with cars, and admire motorcycles from afar.